Giving to Self
I was 3 weeks in to my recovery when I realized I needed to be taking more charge of my healing process. It was unfortunate that the accident, a workplace injury, had left me with mobility issues and concussion symptoms that meant I was not able to do much at all. I had to rest, but within me there was a deep un-rest to surrendering to the resting process. All I could see was day turning to night turning to day and that I had nothing to show for the time that had slipped by. I had not struck anything off my 'to do' lists, and in fact the longer I sat the more creative ideas I had that I was unable to follow through with. My focus, memory and articulation had dissolved in to the tiniest particles that then bonded together to make a thick fog in my brain, accompanied by a soundtrack of incessant loud buzzing. I couldn't move my neck or weight bare so I felt robbed of my yoga practice. Even meditation left my brain in high vibration states that felt inappropriate for healing. So I did nothing, which is one of the hardest things one can do. I later came to know that witnessing what was happening was a meditation.
Eventually, I was able to willfully move in to meditation and that is when the wise action emerged. I had returned from a session with my physiotherapist who had heard through my complaining that my frustration lay in not being able to help others. I couldn't work at the elementary school, I couldn't teach yoga or give yoga therapy sessions and I couldn't write a blog about recovering from concussion. In that meditation a deep knowing surfaced that the time I was watching go by was the time I needed to heal, and that my focus need be redirected from what I cannot do to what I can do - nourish my Self and this body. At that point creative ideas flooded in and I realized with my poor memory I would need to write up a chart of all the little acts that I could in any one day to love myself up.
My Daily Nourishment Chart was born
Creating the chart brought me out of a gloomy phase of feeling like something had been taken from me, and into a place of knowing that I had freedom in how I handled it. I chose to love and nourish this body.
I placed my chart on the fridge where I look at it each morning and can easily check off my loving accomplishments. I started with simple things like mouth wash with coconut oil, drink water and take my vitamins, take a walk by the ocean, and to my surprise it filled up pretty quickly. Now here's the important thing. I don't expect to do everything on the chart each day. I pick and choose what works for my energy level each morning and I make sure I have a good variety of activities over the course of one week.
I'm now almost 5 weeks in to my recovery, and although its moving slowly, I'm feeling better than I did 2 weeks ago. I still can't consider knitting or making Christmas gifts or anything that requires too much concentration, so the list below is some suggestions that are completely body focused and can be achieved through your own will.
Take a walk
Foot massage and foot bath with magnesium
Long bath with essential oils/epsom salt
Restorative Yoga poses - like legs up the wall
Pranayama (breath work)
Rest on a heat pad or Biomat
Drink green smoothie
Sugar free day
Make fresh chai